Frequently Asked Questions
Is the Gospel really good news, or just a “bait and switch” gimmick?
The Gospel—an old English word that really means "Good News"—sometimes seems to promise more than it delivers. This is because, for better or worse, God has chosen ordinary people–who are not perfect–to be ambassadors to carry this Good News to the world. The news about Jesus is good because of what his ministry and his suffering and death teach us about God’s relationship to all people, including LGBT people. If this good news is not being delivered by Christians, we need to redouble our efforts to share what is hopeful, loving and joyful about Christ’s message.
The Gospel invites believers into a life of freedom and faithful service. In Christ, we may live free from the demands of the strict moral law of the Old Covenant, because we know that God loves us unconditionally, for the sake of Jesus Christ, and not because we are able to be perfect. In fact, the main use of the Law is to show us our need for grace and to lead us to Christ, in whom we find freedom form the wrath of God. Even though we are truly free, the Gospel asks us not to live for ourselves, but as servants of others. "We love, because God first loved us" (1 John 4:16-21; also see Philippians 2:12-13). And even though we are free from God’s condemnation, we voluntarily set standards of self-discipline in order to be free for faithful service.
Sadly, many Christians are afraid of their freedom. They won’t let loose of the idea that they are morally superior to others, or that their own puritanism makes a good impression on God and will earn them a place in heaven. But those ideas are a perversion of the Gospel. God is not impressed with anyone’s imagined perfection. And we already have a place in the reign of God, as a gift of God’s grace for Christ’s sake (Romans 3:21-26).
Christian morality is mainly self-discipline, using Christ’s sacrificial life as our model. What often feels like a "bait and switch" gimmick is the work of zealous Christians who have imagine high moral standards for themselves—in the process, becoming "self-righteous"—but who mistakenly demand impossible standards of everyone else. Often they use "shame and blame" to reinforce their own moral superiority. But, that is all bad news, not Good News.
"Reconciling in Christ" is a nice idea. But are the people in this congregation really behind it? Do they just like to think they are welcoming, or will they really welcome me?
As with other forms of mission and ministry, congregations set wonderful goals for themselves, and have every intention of following the lead of Jesus Christ in being servants in the world around them. The Reconciling in Christ program is an effort to engage many congregations to sincerely and openly welcome and include LGBT people in the life of their community.
Sometimes, of course, congregations become self-involved with their regular routines and schedules (like a private club), and gradually become unaware that they are no longer very welcoming to newcomers and outsiders. RIC congregations are made up of real people with faults and failings like all other human beings. Those congregations which really desire to be involved in a Reconciling Ministry with LGBT persons need help to attain the important goals of such a ministry. Sometimes, that help actually comes from the people they had intended to reach out to. And, sometimes, patience is needed most of all.
If you are able to begin a friendship and relationship with a Reconciling in Christ congregation, hopefully you will discover individuals who are ready to be open, welcoming and accepting of you as you really are. And with your friendship and help, more and more people in the congregation will grow in their understanding of LGBT people and of the Gospel, so that the congregation is able to achieve the Reconciling goals it sets for itself.
Does an RIC church expect me to be celibate or to pretend to be "single" when I’m not?
The Lutheran church recognizes that celibacy---remaining in a lifelong unmarried state with no intimate sexual relationships---isn't possible except for a tiny percentage of people. Celibacy not only requires sacrifice and dedication, but also a special gift of the Holy Spirit (charism) to enable the celibate person to dedicate his or her life to a higher purpose. Those who do not have this gift of the Spirit find it impossible to live life without a relationship–including a sexual relationship, as even St. Paul acknowledged (1 Corinthians 7:1-9).
All Christians are expected, regardless of sexual orientation, to practice sexual self-control and to maintain high personal ethical standards. If celibacy is not expected of lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgendered Christians, neither is irresponsibility, promiscuity and other forms of sexual abuse. Traditionally, the Lutheran church teaches each person to search one’s conscience, and to make ethical decisions as a child of God who is called to live life selflessly.
At present, Lutheran churches are trying to determine, through study and conversation throughout the church, what ethical alternative to celibacy it thinks is appropriate for gay and lesbian people. In some congregations, pastoral ministry is already being offered to gay and lesbian couples in which their relationships may be recognized and blessed in the community, even though these congregations and pastors understand that they are acting outside officially approved policies of the larger church. They believe that welcoming, including, and blessing same-sex couples and their families is the right thing to do and that, as the whole church tries to discern the guidance of the Holy Spirit in these matters, it will come to the same conclusion.
Is the RIC Program one of those “Ex-Gay” ministries or therapies? I tried to change, and it doesn't work!
Some Lutherans want to believe what they have heard, that "ex-gay" ministries are helping homosexuals live heterosexual lives. The idea that gay/lesbian people can become functioning heterosexuals has become popular mainly because fundamentalist Christians have built a powerful marketing, public relations and fund-raising mechanism which uses the hope of an "ex-gay" transformation as a form of compassionate rejection. This is often summarized with the cliché, "hate the sin, love the sinner."
There is no credible evidence that either religious "ex-gay" ministries or secular "reparative therapies" are effective, even for gay/lesbian people who are highly motivated to become heterosexual. Some people have been helped to break their addictions to drugs, alcohol and sexual compulsion. Beyond that, "ex-gay" ministries are little more than behavior modification programs that pressure participants either into celibacy or heterosexual marriage! Many of them no longer claim to be able to change sexual orientation in a person from homosexual to heterosexual.
Lutherans Concerned and the Reconciling in Christ Program do not endorse either the methods or the goals of "ex-gay" ministries for these and other reasons, in addition to the fact that the programs do not get results. These ministries are based on underlying premises which are contrary to the Gospel. Using fear of hell, shame, conditional "love," deceit, and rejection/expulsion, these ministries try to force people into heterosexual and conformist behavior. The terrible results are well documented, such as disastrous heterosexual marriages, tragic divorces, emotional suffering, reinforcing a profound feeling of failure, the loss of faith in oneself and God, and suicidal thoughts and behaviors.
The Reconciling in Christ program encourages congregations to welcome and include LGBT people into their communities of faith, under very different conditions from "ex-gay" conditions, but with the same conditions as all other believers in the church:
- In order to be part of the church, that LGBT people make the same confession of faith in Jesus Christ as everyone else,
- that LGBT persons are received as children of God through the sacrament of Holy Baptism;
- that LGBT persons participate as fully as possible in the life of Christians discipleship through prayer and worship, the Eucharist (Holy Communion), study and service to others;
- that LGBT persons try to discern how to live life in a responsible and ethical manner which is appropriate for their sexual orientation and gender identity.
Reconciling in Christ congregations welcome LGBT individuals, couples and families. We welcome lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning, and other sexual minorities! Come as you are.